I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
