Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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