Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize