dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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