Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
There's always time for handjobs
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize