You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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