Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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