we're blogging at a bar
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.