I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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