Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize