When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
