I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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