WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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