2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
