remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize