Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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