i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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