It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Two words: blizzard sex
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
