i jhust puked up my retainher.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
