my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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