watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
