yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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