3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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