oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Michael Bay diarrhea
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
