Duck Duck Cougar?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
