That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize