we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You made out with two different species that night
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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