That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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