just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
