oh god the rape fog is back!
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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