It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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