so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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