...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
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I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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