chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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