I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
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Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
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If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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