All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
