i barfeds in our rink
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
