She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
