We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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