oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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