My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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