I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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