like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm too high and old for this...
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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