i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
