This is the prime rib incident all over again
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
