ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
false alarm, still single
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