Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
