I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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