We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
