dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You may now shotgun with the bride
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
