Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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