New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize