Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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