Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize