you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
