3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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