The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
