You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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