and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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