If i come over, it means nothing
farters have to be the big spoon...
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
