dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
