So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
